The Worst Advice I've Ever Received.

"Follow.Your. Heart." 

In our American Dream culture, we are all about "chasing our dreams", the "pursuit of happiness", "climbing to the top", "being our best self", and "following our heart". I use the " " because these are typical sayings that we hear often. In fact, we hear them so often, we have failed to realize that every single one of them is a lie. A lie about what the meaning of life is, a lie about where we are able to find satisfaction, and a lie about how we ought to make decisions. We are being lied to. They are feel good lies and after all, don't we want to feel good? It feels good to feel good. 

Raised up in a generation where happily ever afters are as real as the food on my plate, I bought into the lies that:

1. I deserve a happily ever after and not only that but a perfect prince charming.

2. If I follow my heart, I will always make the right decision.

3. True fulfillment, satisfaction and security comes from marriage.

4. Success is defined by the dollars in my pocket and the number on the scale.

5. Beauty is attainable if I just work hard enough. 

6. My goal in life is to be happy.

7. I need my husband, my friends, and my family to love me and if they don't, or I perceive that they don't, my worth is devalued.

8. Emotions/Feelings can be trusted.

9. My value comes from what I can do.

10. My identity is found in my job, hobbies and talents. 

The lies could go on and and on and on. We are heavily influenced by the society and culture that we are raised in, it shapes us whether we want it to or not. Life happens around us and infiltrates our thoughts and beliefs. No matter how excellent our parents are, no matter how many times they tell us that beauty comes from the heart, the world continuously tells us otherwise and let's be honest, it's much easier to believe what we can see, hear, touch and taste as oppose to God's word which is intangible.

Who is telling us these lies? Is it our government? Is it our teachers? Is it our parents? Is it our spouses? 

No.

We can trace it back to the first lie ever told by Satan disguised as that crafty serpent... "Eat the apple". "God didn't mean what he said. You won't die {spiritually}. God is holding out on you. He doesn't want you to know everything he knows. Eat the apple". Satan may change his lies around a bit, but he's using the same material. At the root, these are still the same lies we believe today. 

-God's ways are too restrictive and outdated, they don't apply to me. {This is Satan telling us that God is holding out on us and our entitlement to happiness}

-I know better than God. {This is Satan telling us that true wisdom comes from ourselves and that we don't need God}

-I cannot be happy if I live the way God wants me to. {This is Satan telling us that the purpose of life is to be happy, not holy}

Satan's number one goal: to keep us dependent on ANYONE and/or ANYTHING but God. (Idols)

Satan's number one tactic: deceit. 

Satan is smarter than we ever give him credit for. I am not sure if we think that Satan and his demons are a thing of the past and don't apply to our culture today, but we are oh. so. wrong. Satan is smart in his ways and is still alive and well in our world today. The thing that is so smart about deceiving is that is just it! We don't know that we are being deceived! Do you think he tells us lies that are obvious? No way. He tells us lies that are easy on the ears. Lies that are easy to swallow. Lies that don't send "red flags" to our spirt and soul.  The lies that he tells us make us feel good like "follow your heart", "believe in yourself", "you need to love yourself" (as if we don't already love and think of ourselves too much already), "work harder and you will achieve everything you deserve". Maybe he tells us half-truths and half-lies, he twists the truth jusssssst enough to where there is just a hint of a lie in it. The outcome is all the same to him...to keep us distracted from Truth and dependent on ourselves or really anything but God. Satan doesn't have to get us to have an affair, he just has to get us to dwell on someone besides our spouse and gain emotional or mental satisfaction from their relationship. Satan doesn't have to get us to murder, he just has to get us to hold a deep sense of resentment towards someone. Satan doesn't have to get us to tell a bold face lie, he just has to get us to omit the full truth or to manipulate it and bend it to our advantage. 

Do you see what is happening? Our culture, our government, our teachers, our parents, our spouses, our children have swallowed these lies hook line and sinker. We have swallowed these lies. The worst part is we have no clue that we have a gigantic hook in our throats. These lies have become our new truths.

Here are gender specific examples of how Satan's lies have become so second nature to us that we have failed to see the deception in them.

Many men believe that their top priority and purpose is to succeed at work and many times they completely abandon their responsibility of loving and leading their families. {Do you see how Satan has slightly twisted this? God made man to work the fields. It is man's innate desire, responsibility and design to work to provide for his family. Satan has manipulated this desire in man to where work has become their sole purpose and desire in life. Work has become an idol that they worship.}

Many women believe that they need to be respected and valued by society and the only way to gain that respect and sense of worth is to abandon their responsibility of taking care of their husband, children and home and to achieve those things by throwing themselves into their career. Deep in their hearts many women believe that staying at home is of lesser value than all of the "accomplishments" that they can achieve out in the "real world". I know this one is true of women because I use to believe it! {Satan is at work again!} Ever since the feminist movement in the 60's and 70's women now have adopted this ideology that since they have the right to work, vote, make decisions about their bodies ect... that it is also their right to neglect their homes. Now, hear what I am not saying... I am not saying that it is wrong for women to work... I work outside of the home part time and I find a lot of enjoyment in what I do! What I am saying is that our first priority as women of God should be to take care of our homes, husbands, and children. Taking care of our homes is taking care of our husbands and children. Work should fall in line after that. I am not ignorant to the financial demands placed on most women today such as women who financially have to work full time to support families, or women who are single moms. I was raised by a single mom most of my life who worked her tail off to provide for me. It is really more about our motive behind our desire to pursue our careers above our families that I am talking about. Again, I've been guilty of this very thing with my career, my schooling and even my hobbies. Are we looking to these things to bring us sole satisfaction? Are we looking to these things to give us our sole sense of purpose and identity? Is our joy based on our circumstances surrounding these things?

It seems that the pendulum has swung so hard the other way that many women now believe that being "at home" and "in the kitchen" is disrespectful to women everywhere. This breaks my heart. We are missing the joy found in living in the ways that the Lord has called us to by believing Satan when he tell us that true satisfaction is found in our achievements and that we deserve more out of life. Because of that, our marriages are left starving for the attention and care that they desperately need and deserve. Satan is yet again robbing us of the true fulfillment found in being obedient to the responsibilities that we have a women.

Here are three truths that we need to know:

Satan is alive and well and at work in our lives and in our marriages.

"We know that we are children of God, and that he whole world is under the control of the evil one." 

1 John 5:19

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and is desperately sick; who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

"Follow my heart"? No thanks.

Here is our hope:
"But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won the victory over those people {people who are against Christ}, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world." 1 John 4:4

I am not ignorant to think that this will be a feel good or popular post. It is my hope that through writing this that even a mere aspect of Satan's deception would be exposed and therefore lose the stronghold that it currently has in our hearts and minds. The Lord is continuously revealing to me lie after lie that I have been believing and living my life from. 

We live what we believe. What lies are you believing?

"Now, how do you pronounce her name again?"

This is one of the most frequent questions that we have gotten about our sweet babe. I thought I'd write a post on Elah's name and the meaning behind it. 

First off, naming a child is hard! It is so important and well, they are stuck with it! Taylor and I both knew that we wanted our daughter's name to mean something. We both believe in the power of speaking the Truth of God and the identity that we now have because of His sacrifice into the life of a person. As we were on the hunt we knew we wanted something unique but not something really out there. We began researching Hebrew words and their meanings. We came across two that we liked. One was Rinnah, pronounced like "Ren-Ah" which means a proclamation of joy and praise. The other name was Elah, pronounced like "Ee-lah". (Not Ella)

Elah means "mighty oak" in Hebrew. We loved the symbolism of this for many reasons. In the Bible, in both the New and Old Testament trees are used to convey strength, spiritual health, faithfulness, steadfastness, dependence on the Lord and many more things. Here are a few examples:

Psalm 1:1-3 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits at the seat of scoffers, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. 

John 15:1-5 I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does not bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that i have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him will bear much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 

This last verse is the verse that we pray will be Elah's life verse, a verse that we will pray for her as she grows and Lord willing, comes to know the goodess, grace, sacrafice, and faithfulness of the Lord. This is also the verse that I meditated on and clung to throughout labor and delivery. 

Jeremiah 17:7-8 Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and it does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and it is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.

Not only do trees have deep biblical significance, but a mighty oak is a tree that must be deeply rooted to support itself. We pray that Elah will deeply rooted in her faith and the Word of God. A mighty oak is unwavering, despite the conditions that it remains in. Our prayer is that despite the circumstances, hardships and tragedy that she encounters throughout her life that she will remain steadfast and unwavering in her faith, knowing that The Lord is good and He is faithful.

The final significance of Elah's name can be found in the pages of 1 Samuel where you read the unbelievable story of a small shepherd named David defeating a giant named Goliath by simply having total confidence and faith in God to do what he knew he could not do on his own. David defeated Goliath in the Valley of Elah. We pray that, like David, Elah would have the confidence and faith in the Lord to fight and win the battles that she cannot win alone. 

We love her name but we fear that we have cursed her for the rest of her life....

"Ella Jervis..... Is there an Ella Jervis in here?" 

Poor girl. Something tells me she will not have a hard time correcting them.  :)

Meeting Elah

I have been meaning to write a blog post on meeting our sweet girl for a while, but..... well things have been a bit crazy :) Elah Bailee arrived on February 9th 2014 after 31 long hours of labor. Yes, that's right, 31 hours of labor. To be honest, I wasn't all that scared of labor and delivery because I am pretty good at managing pain but after 31 hours of intense pain, I was certain of one thing... I couldn't manage anything on my own anymore. I wanted my birthing experience to be two things: to be dependent on the Lord for strength and for Taylor and I to experience a kind of unity that we had never experienced before. The Lord was gracious as always and allowed me to experience both.

Taylor was my champion all 31 hours. He truly amazed and impressed me more during those 31 hours than in the past 10 years and that is saying a lot. The Lord continued to strengthen both of us as labor became more intense.

When the time finally came to meet our sweet daughter there were what seemed like 15 people in our delivery room. Because my labor had gone so long there was an increased risk to Elah and I suppose the nurses had to be prepared for anything. Elah was healthy and we couldn't have been more grateful.

The moment they laid a tiny human on my chest was a moment that Taylor and I will never forget. I will never forget the look my husband's face when he saw his daughter for the first time. The most amazing experience of my life. Hands down. There she was, this sweet baby that the Lord had created inside of my belly. She was amazing. Half of me and half of the man I love, knit together in one beautiful baby girl. There are no words to explain the feeling of meeting your child for the first time. Simply amazing.

The weeks that followed were surprising to me. I am not sure how much of it was exhaustion and how much of it was my plummeting hormones but I have never been so weepy in my life. It seemed like every time someone would look at me I would cry. Again, my husband was a champ during these first weeks. He was steadfast and encouraging and gently reminded me over and over again that I just had a baby and that everything was ok. My mom and Laren stayed with us for a while and were such a help to us. They cooked and cleaned and stayed up with Elah while I caught up on some sleep.

Now, fast forwarding to 17 weeks later which is today. Motherhood is amazing. It is really difficult at times but it is amazing. I would say the hardest thing about motherhood is during all of the craziness and exhaustion is still being a good wife. Loving the Lord well is loving my husband well and loving my husband well is loving my daughter well. So, I am very much still in the baby stages of finding the balance of it all. I am grateful for motherhood already because the Lord is revealing so much of my selfishness to me. It's ugly but better out than in, right? God is good to us and gracious beyond measure. I am confident that we will look back on this season and see His faithfulness in using our daughter to make us more like His son and that is what it is all about.

This is what our bald beauty looked like when she was brand new :)

Ready But Not Prepared

It is so hard to believe that it is almost time to meet our first child. You know, it's been so interesting being pregnant. When you know someone who is pregnant it is the coolest thing and when you feel their baby move, it just feels magical. It is not hard to wrap your mind around other people being pregnant. It has been nearly impossible for me to wrap my head and heart around the reality that God has blessed us with a child and that He has been growing her inside my body. You would think after 8, nearly 9 months of being pregnant that I would finally be use to my new body, use to the idea that a child is coming in less than a month and is never leaving, and use to the idea that someone very small will call me mommy. I have come to the conclusion that there is no getting use to it. I still ram my ever-growing belly into counters, doors..... strangers. I still have moments of terror and excitement when the reality that we are having a child hits me. And the thought of being called mommy still gives me such a heavy sense of responsibility that often causes me to feel scared.This has by far been the most surreal experience of my life. Getting married took the cake until this. I remember waking up the day after our wedding still amazed at the fact that I now had a husband. Heck, I remember months after our wedding waking up in Tyler, TX amazed at the fact that I had a husband who loved me in such extraordinary ways. I still have moments where I can just stare at my husband in disbelief at the Lord's faithfulness.
This experience is like that... on steroids.

People ask me on a daily basis, "How are you feeling?" I know they are asking about how I am feeling physically but sometimes I just want to say, well, I feel blessed, honored, over-joyed, amazed, grateful, uncertain, and down right terrified. It's amazing to me how a person can feel all of things at one time.
We are in the final countdown now....27 days left until my actual due date. I'm hoping it comes a little sooner :) Are we ready? yes. Are we prepared? No. Taylor said that the other day and I thought that was such a great explanation of where we are at. Ready to meet our child and study her face. Ready to experience the love for another human the way The Lord experiences love for us. Ready to continue to die to ourselves and our own flesh. Ready to love my husband in a whole new way. Prepared for utter exhaustion? Nope. Prepared for feeling totally inadequate? Not a chance. Prepared for my marriage to change? Prepared for life as we know it to be change forever? Not at all. But ready? Absolutely.
God has used marriage in our lives in truly miraculous ways. I say miraculous because I am fully convinced there is nothing else like marriage that can drive such deeply rooted sin out of such a deeply sinful people. Therefore, to me, it's miraculous. We know and have seen the fruit that marriage has produced within us and although the fire gets hot sometimes and we would rather just step out of the sanctification process that chisels and burns away our unrighteousness, we know it is good. After all, isn't this what we have prayed for? Jesus, make us like you.
Since God has been so faithful in using marriage in such incredible ways, we know that although having a child is going to be even harder than we ever imagined, it is going to be more beneficial than we ever imagined. We know this because God is faithful. He gives good gifts and we know that He will complete the work that He began within us and he will now use our child and our marriage to bring our righteousness to fruition.
I have some truly amazing people in my life right now. I asked a few people for some encouragement towards motherhood on a day where I was wallowing in the reality that I would not being working anymore and that this was among the first big sacrifices that I was making for our daughter. I would love to share with you some of the encouragement that was given to me. I hope that this wisdom encourages any soon to moms or new moms the way it has encouraged me.

"Staying home is a sacrifice. It is hard and tiring and lonely and thankless. But I really believe it's my greatest calling. But I also think you should continue to do things that make you thrive. I think you will be surprised with how God provides ways for you to continue to do the things you love to do while primarily being a mother.

Don't let others make you feel guilty for quitting work because you are in no way taking a break. Your new job is harder than anyone else can imagine. You are not "lucky" because you get to stay home. You are financially and emotionally sacrificing for the eternal benefit of your child.

It's ok to be sad that you won't be working anymore. You will likely feel greater fulfillment for doing that job than staying home, initially, anyway because you are good at your job and you get paid and you feel confident. You will likely not have any of those things when you firsts become a mom. But Lace, the amount of love you're going to have for that little girl is more than you can ever imagine!!" - Allison Quick

"I work 24/7 as a living sacrifice to those God has clearly called me to love and serve. It is a fragrant aroma to my God, whom I serve as He served me. Giving my life, my best, to what truly matters as we journey this short life on earth. My paycheck is worth more than gold, my rewards are more than what
this world offers behind the lies of what it calls successful or valuable.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Not gonna let anyone steal from the gift, pleasure, responsibility, and privilege and ministry that God has given to me. Not to mention how He has sanctified and changed me through the gift of it. He knows exactly how to transform this selfish fleshly girl!"
-Katie Sherrod


Sweet girl of ours,
We love you already. Not because of anything you have done, but because you are our child. See you soon.