Ready But Not Prepared

It is so hard to believe that it is almost time to meet our first child. You know, it's been so interesting being pregnant. When you know someone who is pregnant it is the coolest thing and when you feel their baby move, it just feels magical. It is not hard to wrap your mind around other people being pregnant. It has been nearly impossible for me to wrap my head and heart around the reality that God has blessed us with a child and that He has been growing her inside my body. You would think after 8, nearly 9 months of being pregnant that I would finally be use to my new body, use to the idea that a child is coming in less than a month and is never leaving, and use to the idea that someone very small will call me mommy. I have come to the conclusion that there is no getting use to it. I still ram my ever-growing belly into counters, doors..... strangers. I still have moments of terror and excitement when the reality that we are having a child hits me. And the thought of being called mommy still gives me such a heavy sense of responsibility that often causes me to feel scared.This has by far been the most surreal experience of my life. Getting married took the cake until this. I remember waking up the day after our wedding still amazed at the fact that I now had a husband. Heck, I remember months after our wedding waking up in Tyler, TX amazed at the fact that I had a husband who loved me in such extraordinary ways. I still have moments where I can just stare at my husband in disbelief at the Lord's faithfulness.
This experience is like that... on steroids.

People ask me on a daily basis, "How are you feeling?" I know they are asking about how I am feeling physically but sometimes I just want to say, well, I feel blessed, honored, over-joyed, amazed, grateful, uncertain, and down right terrified. It's amazing to me how a person can feel all of things at one time.
We are in the final countdown now....27 days left until my actual due date. I'm hoping it comes a little sooner :) Are we ready? yes. Are we prepared? No. Taylor said that the other day and I thought that was such a great explanation of where we are at. Ready to meet our child and study her face. Ready to experience the love for another human the way The Lord experiences love for us. Ready to continue to die to ourselves and our own flesh. Ready to love my husband in a whole new way. Prepared for utter exhaustion? Nope. Prepared for feeling totally inadequate? Not a chance. Prepared for my marriage to change? Prepared for life as we know it to be change forever? Not at all. But ready? Absolutely.
God has used marriage in our lives in truly miraculous ways. I say miraculous because I am fully convinced there is nothing else like marriage that can drive such deeply rooted sin out of such a deeply sinful people. Therefore, to me, it's miraculous. We know and have seen the fruit that marriage has produced within us and although the fire gets hot sometimes and we would rather just step out of the sanctification process that chisels and burns away our unrighteousness, we know it is good. After all, isn't this what we have prayed for? Jesus, make us like you.
Since God has been so faithful in using marriage in such incredible ways, we know that although having a child is going to be even harder than we ever imagined, it is going to be more beneficial than we ever imagined. We know this because God is faithful. He gives good gifts and we know that He will complete the work that He began within us and he will now use our child and our marriage to bring our righteousness to fruition.
I have some truly amazing people in my life right now. I asked a few people for some encouragement towards motherhood on a day where I was wallowing in the reality that I would not being working anymore and that this was among the first big sacrifices that I was making for our daughter. I would love to share with you some of the encouragement that was given to me. I hope that this wisdom encourages any soon to moms or new moms the way it has encouraged me.

"Staying home is a sacrifice. It is hard and tiring and lonely and thankless. But I really believe it's my greatest calling. But I also think you should continue to do things that make you thrive. I think you will be surprised with how God provides ways for you to continue to do the things you love to do while primarily being a mother.

Don't let others make you feel guilty for quitting work because you are in no way taking a break. Your new job is harder than anyone else can imagine. You are not "lucky" because you get to stay home. You are financially and emotionally sacrificing for the eternal benefit of your child.

It's ok to be sad that you won't be working anymore. You will likely feel greater fulfillment for doing that job than staying home, initially, anyway because you are good at your job and you get paid and you feel confident. You will likely not have any of those things when you firsts become a mom. But Lace, the amount of love you're going to have for that little girl is more than you can ever imagine!!" - Allison Quick

"I work 24/7 as a living sacrifice to those God has clearly called me to love and serve. It is a fragrant aroma to my God, whom I serve as He served me. Giving my life, my best, to what truly matters as we journey this short life on earth. My paycheck is worth more than gold, my rewards are more than what
this world offers behind the lies of what it calls successful or valuable.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Not gonna let anyone steal from the gift, pleasure, responsibility, and privilege and ministry that God has given to me. Not to mention how He has sanctified and changed me through the gift of it. He knows exactly how to transform this selfish fleshly girl!"
-Katie Sherrod


Sweet girl of ours,
We love you already. Not because of anything you have done, but because you are our child. See you soon.