Ready But Not Prepared

It is so hard to believe that it is almost time to meet our first child. You know, it's been so interesting being pregnant. When you know someone who is pregnant it is the coolest thing and when you feel their baby move, it just feels magical. It is not hard to wrap your mind around other people being pregnant. It has been nearly impossible for me to wrap my head and heart around the reality that God has blessed us with a child and that He has been growing her inside my body. You would think after 8, nearly 9 months of being pregnant that I would finally be use to my new body, use to the idea that a child is coming in less than a month and is never leaving, and use to the idea that someone very small will call me mommy. I have come to the conclusion that there is no getting use to it. I still ram my ever-growing belly into counters, doors..... strangers. I still have moments of terror and excitement when the reality that we are having a child hits me. And the thought of being called mommy still gives me such a heavy sense of responsibility that often causes me to feel scared.This has by far been the most surreal experience of my life. Getting married took the cake until this. I remember waking up the day after our wedding still amazed at the fact that I now had a husband. Heck, I remember months after our wedding waking up in Tyler, TX amazed at the fact that I had a husband who loved me in such extraordinary ways. I still have moments where I can just stare at my husband in disbelief at the Lord's faithfulness.
This experience is like that... on steroids.

People ask me on a daily basis, "How are you feeling?" I know they are asking about how I am feeling physically but sometimes I just want to say, well, I feel blessed, honored, over-joyed, amazed, grateful, uncertain, and down right terrified. It's amazing to me how a person can feel all of things at one time.
We are in the final countdown now....27 days left until my actual due date. I'm hoping it comes a little sooner :) Are we ready? yes. Are we prepared? No. Taylor said that the other day and I thought that was such a great explanation of where we are at. Ready to meet our child and study her face. Ready to experience the love for another human the way The Lord experiences love for us. Ready to continue to die to ourselves and our own flesh. Ready to love my husband in a whole new way. Prepared for utter exhaustion? Nope. Prepared for feeling totally inadequate? Not a chance. Prepared for my marriage to change? Prepared for life as we know it to be change forever? Not at all. But ready? Absolutely.
God has used marriage in our lives in truly miraculous ways. I say miraculous because I am fully convinced there is nothing else like marriage that can drive such deeply rooted sin out of such a deeply sinful people. Therefore, to me, it's miraculous. We know and have seen the fruit that marriage has produced within us and although the fire gets hot sometimes and we would rather just step out of the sanctification process that chisels and burns away our unrighteousness, we know it is good. After all, isn't this what we have prayed for? Jesus, make us like you.
Since God has been so faithful in using marriage in such incredible ways, we know that although having a child is going to be even harder than we ever imagined, it is going to be more beneficial than we ever imagined. We know this because God is faithful. He gives good gifts and we know that He will complete the work that He began within us and he will now use our child and our marriage to bring our righteousness to fruition.
I have some truly amazing people in my life right now. I asked a few people for some encouragement towards motherhood on a day where I was wallowing in the reality that I would not being working anymore and that this was among the first big sacrifices that I was making for our daughter. I would love to share with you some of the encouragement that was given to me. I hope that this wisdom encourages any soon to moms or new moms the way it has encouraged me.

"Staying home is a sacrifice. It is hard and tiring and lonely and thankless. But I really believe it's my greatest calling. But I also think you should continue to do things that make you thrive. I think you will be surprised with how God provides ways for you to continue to do the things you love to do while primarily being a mother.

Don't let others make you feel guilty for quitting work because you are in no way taking a break. Your new job is harder than anyone else can imagine. You are not "lucky" because you get to stay home. You are financially and emotionally sacrificing for the eternal benefit of your child.

It's ok to be sad that you won't be working anymore. You will likely feel greater fulfillment for doing that job than staying home, initially, anyway because you are good at your job and you get paid and you feel confident. You will likely not have any of those things when you firsts become a mom. But Lace, the amount of love you're going to have for that little girl is more than you can ever imagine!!" - Allison Quick

"I work 24/7 as a living sacrifice to those God has clearly called me to love and serve. It is a fragrant aroma to my God, whom I serve as He served me. Giving my life, my best, to what truly matters as we journey this short life on earth. My paycheck is worth more than gold, my rewards are more than what
this world offers behind the lies of what it calls successful or valuable.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Not gonna let anyone steal from the gift, pleasure, responsibility, and privilege and ministry that God has given to me. Not to mention how He has sanctified and changed me through the gift of it. He knows exactly how to transform this selfish fleshly girl!"
-Katie Sherrod


Sweet girl of ours,
We love you already. Not because of anything you have done, but because you are our child. See you soon.

Here's to "Un-dull" Moments!

I cannot believe camp is over! We wait for 9 months for summer to come and in the blink of an eye, it's gone. Needless to say summers are crazy. Taylor works insane hours and loves every minute of it. There is never a dull moment. In fact, I'd say our most "un-dull" moment came Wednesday of week ONE. At the beginning of the summer Taylor had Wednesdays off. We had a pretty relaxed day planned. The only thing on my schedule was to take a test and then the rest of my day was free. So I woke up at 7:00 am to take my test and......I passed it with TWO PURPLE LINES!

Crazzzzy indeed! We had no idea that June 5th would change our lives forever. It was a hilarious moment. I could not believe this moment had finally come. As girls and young women we think about this day for years and when it comes you can't seem to get your head around it. Heck, I still can't get my head or heart around it and I'm 3 1/2 months pregnant!

We spent the rest of the day in shock, disbelief, and excitement! It's amazing to think back to 16-year-old Taylor and Lacey. I really have dreamed of what our children would be like for almost 10 years now and God blessed me with being able to watch that dream come to fruition. Incredible. 

The next task on our plate was telling our parents! Their schedules were crazy and so were ours... but this is something you must make time for! So....we flew to Nashville! Laren's sister Naoma was the master mind behind getting us there in top secret! We flew in giddy and ready to burst and knowing how excited they were going to be at this news that was about change the rest of their lives as well. Naoma told them she wanted to take them somewhere at 11 and that she was picking them up. They had no idea! When they turned the corner to get into Naoma's car this is what they saw.....

We just stood there. We wanted them to figure it out on their own. It felt like it took them years to understand what was happening. FINALLY! Laren says, "I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!!" And the ugly cries started immediately.  (For me too :) I had no idea what kind of emotion I would feel when they turned the corner but I just lost it because of how happy I was and how happy I knew they would be. My mom's reaction was all I hoped for! She has been ready for this moment since I met Taylor!

Well... that was only half of the fun. We had one more stop to make! We flew to Florida the next weekend to complete our grandparent extravaganza! We rented a little tiny rental car because NO ONE has any idea we were coming. We just showed up on their front door step. Literally. It was funny because we got into Destin around 4:00 pm and Mrs. Anne was finishing up her 2nd 12 hour shift at the hospital and wouldn't be home until 8:00 pm. So what did we do? Outlet mall..... Of course. We waited in their neighborhood for about an hour watching for Anne's car to drive through. No sign of her anywhere. We found a spot close to their house where we could see everything but they still had no clue :) We were watching Mr. Chip working away in his office and Maggie bark at the door (We think she knew)

Ok, the time had come. Anne pulled in the driveway and as soon as the garage door shut we sprinted to the front door and rang the door bell. I cannot explain to the anticipation of surprises like these. Wow it's intense. Mr. Chip comes to the door very suspiciously because it was dark and who could it possibly  be?! He looked at us through the door and didn't even open it. He turned to the side and said, "Anne! Anne! It's Taylor and Lacey... I've got goosebumps."Anne brings herself to the door and just.starts.weeping. The door finally opens and we yell "SURPRISE!! WE'RE PREGNANT!" Chip stands there in bewilderment and Anne comes out and grabs me and just weeps her sweet eyes out. (Again, the ugly cry is what we call it). After two minutes of WEEPING. She looks at us and asks, "So why are y'all here?!?!" 

Taylor and I look at each other like is she serious? And so we did the whole WE'RE PREGNANT thing over again. Her reaction went from tears of joy to see her family to JUMPING UP AND DOWN AND SCREAMING WITH ELATION!! I mean squealing!! She kept shaking me and screaming. Mr. Chip is over to side giggling and smiling like he does only when he is at his happiest. 

We had two more very important people to check off of our list before we could start tell people and that was Uncle Jacob and my Gran! We had chip and Anne Facetime Jacob the next morning before we left and Anne was hilarious trying to act like nothing was up. And we let the pink and blue balloons slide up over their heads and popped and surprised him! He had the biggest smile and laugh! And telling Gran was awesome. I FaceTimed her and Taylor FaceTimed my family so they could see Grans reaction and she was elated! So.Much.Fun!

Finally we could start telling people and these were a few of my favorite reactions!

So there it is! We are having a baby! Baby Jervis will be here around February 10th 2014. It's going to be an awesome and weird child... bless its heart :) We are so excited and blessed beyond words to have this incredible opportunity. We would love your prayers if you get the chance. Pray for us and our marriage as we transition out of camp and into the fall season which gets crazy because of recruiting. Pray for our hearts that the Lord would really begin to prepare us to become parents because honestly, it still doesn't feel like a reality. It's difficult to mentally and emotionally prepare for something that doesn't quite feel real. Also please pray for our sweet baby that it would be healthy and that it would grow! If all goes well we get to find out the sex of the baby the middle of September so that will be a huge game changer!!

Here's to the next 173 days of pregnancy! 

Anchored

Well we are four days in to the second week of camp! It is crazy busy and crazy fun too :) I haven't gotten to be up at camp as much as I'd like but balancing my time between two jobs and my graduate work has turned out to be more difficult than I originally expected. I go when I can and have chats with the girl staff any chance I get. My bible study girls are wonderful. I have 11 of them in our group. We are going through the topic of Biblical suffering and what it looks like to suffer well. Yesterday we went through suffering with purpose and perspective. At first I was hesitant to discuss this topic but at the same time I strongly believe that as followers of Christ we are to suffer differently than the rest of the world. We are to suffer with peace, perseverance, and purpose. We do not suffer without grief but we also do not suffer without hope. This is what should make our suffering look different. If God is for us, who could be against us? What can man do to the flesh that could keep us from our Heavenly Father? Nothing. That is hope in which we cling to. Despite our circumstances... our every changing situations, heartbreaks, financial problems, our wavering emotions, God never moves. He is steadfast, he the Rock of our Salvation and the anchor to our souls. Without that, what in this world could we cling to? I mean think about it...everything in which we know, is temporal. Life. Spouses. Family. Money. Things. If we put our hope in such things, and cleave to such people, we will eventually lose every single one of them. There is one who is eternal and that is God. He alone is the only one worth putting our hope in and binding ourself to, because He is good, He is faithful, He is sovereign. He is sufficient for us. When suffering comes, and it will, I would rather cling to what is certain, sure, everlasting than someone or something that is a mere breath. If everything and everyone in life changes or dies, what is the anchor of our souls? Life tosses us around like waves in the ocean, never ceasing, always changing, sometimes calm, sometimes a tidal wave. We need an anchor to keep us steady. If everything else in the ocean is being tossed around as well, why would cleave to such things and such people? There is only one true Anchor. 

Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. 

Hebrews 6:17-19

Week One

It's Sunday morning, the beginning of the 1st week of 11 weeks of summer camp. It's the calm before the storm. Ideally I'd like to post a weekly update throughout the summer... We will see how that goes :)

So far our transition to the shores (high school camp) has been such a blessing. Not only are the full time staff wonderful, but the summer staff are lovely as well! The girls staff have befriended me faster than I thought they would. This has been a huge encouragement to me. It's important to me that I connect well with the girls summer staff, so that's been a huge blessing. They are eager to hear about our lives and want to know every detail about our dating relationship and marriage. I remember being in their shoes. Only to dream of the day that I had a husband of my own. It's always so fun to share our story with people because I'm constantly reminded of the grace and mercy The Lord has shown us.

The longer we are in Tyler, TX and the longer we get to be apart of the community and ministry here, the more I realize how good and faithful God is. On my own I wouldn't have chosen to leave everyone and everything I know and love but because He is good and uses this short life for His glory and my sanctification, here we are. I'm certain that however long this season of life is, we will look back from our rockers, gray hair and dentures seeing how The Lord used this place to radically change our lives. I couldn't be more thankful.

Summer is here!!

Well friends and family.... SUMMER 2013 IS HERE! This is what we wait all year for. This is what we spend 9 months preparing for and it's here! It is such an exciting time and also such a crazy time for our marriage. These next 3 months we will have the honor and blessing of watching the lost be found, the dead come to life, and the blind, see. As you can image, this is why we do what we do. My husband will work 16 hour days most everyday with the exception of a night and a day off. I will be driving to camp multiple times a day to watch the Lord move in unbelievable ways. Taylor just started his new job as associate director at the Shores camp which is the high school camp! Last summer we had the pleasure of working at the Bluffs which is family camp. Each summer brings its own blessings and challenges. I think that our main challenges this summer will finding time together where we are not both exhausted from work and school. From what I have seen so far youth camp requires a totally different level of energy than family camp does. No joke, the loudest music I have every heard. I love watching my husband at youth camp. God has designed him which such incredible gifts and talents and as a wife, I find such joy in watching him do his job well. 

We have finished training week where a bunch of staffers come and get trained in ropes or lifeguarding.

I had the pleasure of training almost 40 lifeguards last week. Super fun to get to know people in that way. We are now in orientation week where every staffer is here. They are going through intense sessions each day preparing them for this summer. This is a long week for them and for us. In exactly FIVE days, campers.will.be.here. Whhhhaatt? That is crazy to me. 

If you find yourself in time with the Lord thinking of people to pray for, please add us to your list.

Things to pray for:

-That God would use us and our marriage in ways which exemplify the Gospel

-That we would be dependent on the Lord's strength and love and not our own

-That our eyes may be open to specific needs that people have

-Pray for our bible studies that we are leading this summer

-That we would stay unified as husband and wife and be merciful and gracious to one another

-Each week we have new campers, pray for their hearts to be ready to hear the Gospel

Thank you for all of your support and prayers in advance! Here's to another crazy summer!

Meet Laine.

My friend Laine just wrote a blog that is simply wonderful. Take a minute to enjoy her wise and witty words. Be sure to watch the video. 

http://lainelindsey.blogspot.com/

"It is in vain that you seek within yourselves for the cure for your miseries. All your intelligence can only bring you to realize that it is not within yourselves that you will find either truth or good." 

- Blaise Pascal